If The Shoe Doesn't Fit:: The Binge

Adopting with the Lord's Blessing

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows--this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6

You are the helper of the fatherless LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may oppress no more.
Psalms 10:14, 17-18

In you the orphan finds mercy.
Hosea 14:3

For as many as are led by the Spirit of Go, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
Romans 8:14-16

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Binge

Yesterday I did so well. I had a Chocolate No Sugar Added Carnation Instant Breakfast mixed with Lactaid Fat Free milk for breakfast and lunch. I had ice water. I had a dinner of a small portion of mashed potatoes, three Pillsbury Crescent rolls (I know..I know) and 2 pieces of ham. Not a bad dinner really, if you take away all the starches/carbs. But then the cravings started. I wanted a Blue Raspberry slushie from our local ice cream shop so my loving husband went and got me one. Then I crawled into bed to watch Drop Dead Diva and it hit me: Jeff has a bag of plain potato chips on his dresser. There's was maybe 1/4 of the bag left.

The bag is now empty. I ate them all. I binged. I also had a glass of Kool aid and an orange. The orange was to take away any guilt I was feeling but it didn't.

Oh, and my husband asked me to try some BBQ pork rinds, can you say NASTY? But I ate a couple of handfuls of dried out and fried up pieces of pig skin just because they were there and they were crunchy.

I was so disappointed in myself. I had started the day off so right.

So, today, I was rushed. I allowed myself to oversleep since I hadn't slept well the night before. I couldn't find the drink containers I could use to pre-mix my drinks. So, I grabbed two packages of the mix and out the door and to the Go Mart I went.

I bought a pint sized 2% Reduced Fat white milk bottle and slowly and surely added my powder to it. I hope it doesn't bother my stomach as I'm a tad bit lactose intolerant. I also have a liter of water and some Sugar Free Kool Aid mix to use if the water becomes to, um, watery.. :)

I'm bound and determined to stick to this plan until I meet with the nutritionist on Thursday.

I'm bound and determined to get this weight off.

I'd like to say I'm bound and determined to say I'm not feeling guilty but I really do feel guilty.

But there's nothing I can do about my binge last night. But there's everything I can do about not binging today.

So, for today, I WILL NOT BINGE.

Please keep me in your prayers. I'll need them to stay on the straight so I can become more narrow!

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. ~ John 15:5, NLT

May Jesus Christ be Praised,

1 comment:

StaciAugust 23, 2010 at 4:59 PM
Try not to beat yourself up too much, and like you said today is a new day and you are going to do it! But oh girl, Night time is SOOOO hard for me too. I do so well until about 3pm and then I start wanting everything. I have gotten good about not binging anymore, but I still haven't kicked the habit of saying forget it to what I was going to cook that night that was going to be healthy and in check with the calorie count, and saying lets get something fast or lets go to a sit down restaurant where I tell myself I'm going to order something good and usually never do. Or if I do order something I think is "good" I get home and look it up online and I am completely blown away by the calorie count. Hang in there! I struggle everyday with beating myself up for all the bad choices I make. Try your best to praise yourself for all the great choices you made up until that point!!!
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