Today is MY Day...

This morning when I woke up I wasn't as grumpy, mean, nasty, and sarcastic as usual.  To say I'm a morning person would be the same as saying the Earth is flat.  It's just not natural.  But today was a tad bit different.

Today I see the nutritionist.  Today I get weighed, measured, and I'm going to make her photograph me (so be fully warned) and given an eating plan ( I refuse to say "diet plan") designed to help me regulate my body sugars (thanks PCOS) and to kick start and maintain my metabolism. 

I saw this same Nutritionist about a year ago and I gave up in 2 days.  However, in those 2 days I lost 5 pounds and 10 inches.  Just imagine what I could have done provided I stayed on it.  Before I just didn't have the necessary motivation.  I do now.

I was told by my Rheumatologist, who finally diagnosed me with Rheumatoid Arthritis on top of my Fibromyalgia, that while my body hurts from the pain of RA and FM, that my stomach hanging over and pulling my spine/hips out of alignment isn't helping anything and that I was to "make an appointment with a nutritionist" and I was to "cut out all carbs."  That's going to be the hard part.

Please pray for my husband.  I've been doing my own thing since Sunday:  drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast for breakfast and lunch and eating a sensible dinner.  I've been wicked, mean, nasty, and possessed by evil spirits.  I've not been a happy camper.

So, while I'll need all the support and prayers in the world, my husband needs them more!! :)  Thank God I married a man who is patient and kind and loves me unconditionally no matter how many times I call him a turd head.

Also, my additional motivation than just to feel better and be healthier, is that WE WANT A CHILD.  Now, if you're a long time reader, no time commenter, you'll know that I'm unable to have biological children.  I tired for years, lost a son, and now the only hope of us ever expanding our family is through adoption.

Now, let me be clear, I'm not doing this just to adopt.  I'm doing this to live.  Bringing home a precious little boy (preferably.. :) ) or girl to call our own is just going to be a happy bi-product.

Not only am I at the point of giving my ALL to save my own life and lose weight and get healthier, but I'm also at the point where I'm no longer giving so much of myself away that I don't have anything on which to draw strength through this progress.  If you want my support in your ventures in life, then I ask that you simply reciprocate support to me.  I don't think that's too much to ask.

But I've got to become selfish for the first time in my life.  Well, some may not think it's the first time and maybe it isn't, but I'm about to become 110% selfish and all the extra time, energy, and support I have in me will be mine and mine alone. 

Now that doesn't mean I won't still provide support and love to my friends and family but I'm done being a doormat.  I'm employed in a "helping field" and by the end of the day I have given and given and given that I have nothing left to give, especially to myself and that's got to and will change AS OF TODAY.

My initial goal is small:  I go back to Dr. Hooglin on Monday, October 18th and I want to be at the very  minimum 299.  I want her to see that I have lost at least 21 pounds.

I refuse to believe that is impossible, even if the first 20 pounds is nothing but water.  But I WILL have some awesome results for her at that appointment.

She's only asked me to walk or do range of motion exercises so I don't flare my RA or FM, but I'm going to do the best I can with the exercise equipment at the gym that isn't going to cause a flare.  That means no weights for a long, long while.

But after 1:45 today, I'll have an eating plan, then I'll make an exercise plan, and then I'll begin to make little plans daily to improve how I'm going to find long term success. 

My first goal is to reach 299.  When I weighed myself at home on Sunday I was 323.4 but I'm going to use her scale today as my official starting point since that's where I'll be weighed each week.  So, I'll be back this evening to give you all the good news.

Please keep the prayers and support coming.  I'll definitely need it and greatly appreciate it!!