A Personal Reminder...

Sometimes I just have to keep reminding myself why I do the things I do. I work because we have debt to pay down before we can afford to adopt and so I can be a stay-at-home mom. Today it's hard to focus on why I'm working when all I want to do is be home. There is so much there that I need to do that I think about when I'm here at work not wanting to do anything productive.

That's my life sometimes. I tend to buck against doing the most productive thing in my life in exchange to just be lazy and do a whole lot of nothing. Like yesterday. I took a day of rest for my Sunday and didn't do anything. Do I feel better for it? Eh, I don't know. I mean I rested a lot (read: napped) and this morning I still couldn't get up with my husband to go work out so I packed my work out clothes to go after work on my own. Tomorrow I hope to be able to go with him.

So far my diet hasn't been the greatest but it hasn't been the worst either. I kept hitting the "snooze" button until I made myself almost late for work and didn't have time to pack a lunch or eat breakfast. So, I started the day off with a plain, no butter bagel from McDonald's, bought two of their apple dippers (I won't use the caramel) and an OJ with ice. Not the best breakfast but the apples will be a healthy snack. I didn't even think about getting anything more fattening at the drive thru. I'm proud of that.

But today my simple reminder is I'm doing all of this: working out, eating better, getting healthier, and working to be able to be a mother. We are excited to get to a point where adoption just isn't a faraway dream but an impending reality. It's going to take time so as for now it becomes our driving force to improve our lives and ourselves. So, after work today when all I'll want to do is go home and shower and prepare for The Bachelor, I'll head to the gym, pop on my MP3 player and work out thinking about the day when we're able to bring home little Charlotte Lyric or William Owen.

And little he or she is why I'm doing this. Even as my work cell rings off the hook...